Invalidation is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse and the person on the end of the character assassination really starts to question which is true: their emotional experience or the invalidation.

For so many, unfortunately, the invalidation starts in early childhood. Highly sensitive children growing up in families where chronic invalidation occurs may begin to feel ashamed of expressing their feelings (consider Pink Monkeyflower flower essence). They often feel that there is something wrong with themselves because they feel everything so deeply. They start to believe that if they express their feelings, it will be burdensome and unwanted, so they deny their own expression of feelings and take on and absorb everyone else’s on top of their own! Emotional boundaries become blurred (consider Pink Yarrow flower essence) which is something HSP’s always must watch out for when their natural empathy for others can become overwhelming. The children then often carry these beliefs about themselves into adulthood.

Many HSCs go through phases when going to school can become especially challenging and emotionally overwhelming. In my private practice, I am often seeing them towards the end of the school term, when they are more vulnerable because of their tiredness. Often, parents decide to give their HSC a day or two off as they have learnt from experience that their child usually  ‘bounces back’ well – most HSPs display very good resilience if given the opportunity.

Young Jimmy wakes up feeling anxious about going to school. His way of describing how he feels is that, “He has a stomach-ache.”  An understanding and validating parent will respond with, “Has something happened at school? Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” However, an invalidating parent may say, “I haven’t got time for this Jimmy. I must get you and Zoe off to school now. You’ll be fine. Just hurry up!”