Having your experiences, responses and feelings validated is essential for health and well-being, and a crucial aspect of all healthy relationships. It helps you develop trust in life and feel safe and secure with those you are on intimate terms. It is especially important for those of us who are highly sensitive as it helps us understand, accept, appreciate, and embrace our sensitivity, and recognise it as the asset it is.

Unfortunately, too often the thoughts and feelings of highly sensitive people are judged or dismissed as not valid or, worse, described as abnormal or odd. “Stop being so sensitive;” “Stop over-reacting,” “You’re too dramatic,” “What do you want to go home now for? You’re a party pooper!,” “Get over it,” “Toughen up,” “You are so high maintenance” are all invalidating statements and in the most part incorrect! These comments have their most negative impact when delivered by a parent to their child, between partners or close friends, or from anyone with whom you have an emotional attachment.

Initially when my book on high sensitivity came out, I understandably had a mixture of responses, many positive but there were also some that were disappointing, mainly from people who were on the lower sensitivity end of the continuum (but not always). Not surprisingly the negative (invalidating) responses from a few relatives and close friends were the ones that stuck in my mind and most offensive. From these few I would hear, “What do you want us to do about it [your sensitivity]? “I mean that’s life [its insensitive] just get used to it! Get over it, you won’t change people. You’re never going to get special treatment!” I had to explain to them, that in writing the book, I was not asking for any “special treatment,” just understanding. And if anything, they would gain from being informed and having a better understanding of high sensitivity in two main ways. Firstly, they would develop better quality relationships with the more highly sensitive people in their lives. And, secondly, they would appreciate just how considerate, resourceful, and creative highly sensitive people are generally and how much they stand to benefit from having them in their lives.