a) Adults don’t always make the best decisions.

No-one knows kids the way they know themselves. This especially applies to HSC’s who usually have already considered all the ramifications of any decision they FINALLY make. Just give them the space and time to assess any decision they are about to make and then support it even if it may be different to what you expected or wished (within reason). Remember highly sensitive children and adults are not as influenced by cultural influences. They don’t necessarily follow the ‘status quo’.

b) Free time doesn’t have to be filled.

If your HSC wants to spend some time out in their room, sit on the couch for a while and stare into space (not all day obviously!). Daydreaming, engaging in a little reverie, activates the brain’s default mode network. It is relaxing and mentally refreshing but also helps your child develop a healthy sense of self. Therefore, it is not idle or wasted time and it often helps children to be creative and resolve problems in their lives.

c) Hobbies are more important than homework.

You can’t force intrinsic motivation (to do homework or whatever). The more time your child spends deeply engrossed in activities that he/she loves and is passionate about, the more motivated their brain will be overall. There are other activities that are part of life and just need to get done (e.g. some homework). So, offer your support and help with homework at a set time each evening but make it clear that it is up to them whether to take you up on it.

Red Chestnut flower essence to help ‘helicopter’ parents!

Although it is important to be aware and make allowances for the fact that your child is highly sensitive you still need to encourage and support their development into becoming a self-assured and independent adult. Red Chestnut helps us judge better when to be protective of our children and when to give them freedom to make their own choices (- sometimes ‘wrong’ ones they will learn from!)

“Red Chestnut flower essence can heal the heart and soothe excessive anxiety. By calming mental fears we can free ourselves to radiate harmonious and comforting thoughts towards our loved ones and friends. This flower essence allows us to step back far enough from others’ mental and emotional troubles to be of help. We are freed to empathise with those close to us without losing our sense of proportion and personal power.

Negative state:
Projecting fear and sympathy
Over-concern for others

Positive state:
Projecting love and empathy
Emotional security about loved ones”

(Extracts from Mark’s book, “The Essential Flower Essence Book”)