Sorry to scare you! I will now put your mind at rest!

In her blog Dr Elaine Aron has responded to receiving questions about a research article “Do highly sensitive persons display hypersensitive narcissism?” In response she makes three important points:
I. The researchers refer to “vulnerable narcissism” in HSPs which means just that–feeling self-conscious and vulnerable-and they are NOT referring to a type of narcissism to do with being grandiose, entitled, or using others, which is what narcissism means to most people in the general public.
II. Differential susceptibility applies in all HSPs, i.e., raised in a reasonably good environment HSPs do better than others, but raised in a poor one they do worse. This misnamed narcissism, “vulnerable narcissism,” which is caused by a troubled childhood, will certainly show up in some HSPs but in most NOT!
III. Most HSPs don’t go along with the social discourse that might portray sensitivity as a superpower or that it is a special burden asking for special consideration. A few uninformed people’s first reaction to my book on HSPs has been, “Oh yeah, we’ve got one of those ‘high maintenance’ persons at our workplace!” I quickly inform these people that the book is not about asking for special consideration for HSP’s but, rather, it is about describing what resourceful people HSPs are and that you might wish to utilise them more at your work or have them as considerate and caring friends in your life! As Dr Aron says, “I doubt that most HSPs think much about their trait as either a superpower or a burden once they have integrated it into their thinking, so other people rarely hear them talk about it.”
And finally, to put this to bed, let me share a quote from my book, Embracing the Gift of High Sensitivity:
“Some people view HSPs as just control freaks, putting so much time and energy into creating ‘structure and predictability’ in their lives … HSPs’ need to conserve energy is not the same as a need to control people and situations for egotistical or obsessive-compulsive reasons or because they are narcissistic power junkies. Most HSPs … are just doing their best to function at a level that enables them to be involved, make positive contributions, fulfil their commitments and maintain good relationships. The last thing most HSPs want is a power struggle, a conflict or negative attention, as they absorb these negative experiences like a psychic sponge … They always consider others in their future planning because, after all, living in harmony is also in their own best interest.”